Ballet Bedlam
by Yami-kun
Summary: Yami and Seto are gonna take dancing lessons?! And guess who their teacher is! (Hint! Hint! Someone that starts with the letter 'B') What will this new skill bring them? P.S. This isn't as pointless as my first fic, so it SHOULD be safe to read. ^^
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Once again, the disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH partially because fate has not permitted me to, and because I don't have a very creative imagination to invent such wonderful characters^^  
  
1 Ballet Bedlam  
  
/…/ = Yami's thought  
  
//…// = Yugi's thought  
  
The day was fresh and anew, the warm rays of the sun fell upon the new cycle of nature, and the bears began to wake from their long, winter hibernation. But back at the Turtle Game Shop, things were not as lively.  
  
"Aibou, I'm bored," Yami complained, staring out at the clear, blue sky. "It's spring break. Why can't we go outside?"  
  
"Because, Yami, I have spring allergies," Yugi replied, then sneezed five times in a row.  
  
"Bless you. But what about the others?"  
  
"Thank you. Joey went to visit his sister, Tristan's testing for his driver's license, and Tea went to help her mom with the groceries."  
  
"But if I don't do something soon, I'm gonna go insane!"  
  
"And we won't want that now, would we? Hmmm…oh yeah! I've heard that there's a new dance studio downtown---they have special classes for ballet. You should try out." Yugi giggled.  
  
"NO WAY! I'm a game king/pharaoh, not a cute, little dancer!" Yami practically screamed in his aibou's ear.  
  
"So you'd rather stay here in the land of boredom?"  
  
"Ummm…no."  
  
"Then go!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"I challenge you."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I challenge you. If you can survive dancing for a week, then I'll do all your chores for the month. If you can't, then you have to my chores AND be nice to Seto for a whole month," Yugi grinned triumphantly, knowing that Yami couldn't withstand a challenge.  
  
"Fine." Yami growled at his smaller self.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, at the Kaiba's resident…  
  
"Ooohhh…big brother!" Mokuba's voice rang through the house, er, mansion.  
  
"Uh-oh," Seto muttered to himself as he scrambled to find a place to hide. "There's the sound of trouble."  
  
"Big broottthheerrr…where are youuuu?" Mokuba continued to shout in a girly- tone. He then found Seto hiding behind the living room couch. "I FOUND YOU!" And jumped onto Seto's back.  
  
"Huh---ooff! Get off me!"  
  
"Not until you promise me something!"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Promise me first!"  
  
"Not until you tell me what it is!"  
  
"Fine. There a new dance thingie downtown and I wanna go."  
  
"You…want to learn dancing?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Well…"  
  
"Pretty please with syrup on top?" Mokuba made the cutest little angel face every known in the existence of human  
  
beings (YK: How cute!^_^)  
  
"O-ok! Just stop with the cuteness!" Seto tried shielding his eyes from the 'evil' cutesy look.  
  
"Yayyyy!"  
  
***  
  
"So this is the dance studio?" Yami wondered as he gazed up at the 2- story bungalow, might I add in a dazzling shade of pink, with dollies in tutus painted on green, heart-shaped panes attached to windows that open up like doors. A pink pillar said:  
  
WELCOME TO THE WACKY WORLD OF DANCING! TODAY WE SPECIALIZE IN BALLET AND TWIRLS!  
  
Yami sweat dropped as he read the inscriptions. /Now…why did I come here again?/  
  
//Because you were bored to death. And besides, if you back out now, you'll have to do all my chorus and be nice to Seto for a month.//  
  
/Be quit, Yugi!/  
  
//Hehe…teasing you is so much fun.//  
  
/…/  
  
Yami entered the building and was greeted by…Yami Bakura?!  
  
"Y. Bakura?! What are you doing here?"  
  
"What do you think? I needed a part time job!"  
  
"But you? Working in a dance studio? MWAHAHAHA!" Yami fell to the ground laughing hysterically.  
  
Y. Bakura blushed a nice shade of red, both from anger and embarrassment. "So, why are YOU here?" he asked slyly.  
  
"Ummm…well…that's none of your business!" Yami snapped.  
  
"Ha! The king of games is gonna take dancing lessons?! HAHAHA!" Now it was Y. Bakura's turn to laugh hysterically.  
  
Yami was by now blushing hard. "I NEVER SAID THAT!"  
  
"But-I-can-see-it-in-your-face!" Y. Bakura managed to choke out between laughs.  
  
"Never mind! Where's the registration desk?"  
  
"T-there isn't one." Y. Bakura reduce his behavior down to a giggle. "Just go down the left hall, third room to your right."  
  
"Thank you." Yami huffed and walked away.  
  
Y. Bakura once again fell into a fit of laughter.  
  
  
  
Later…  
  
/Geez…why are these pants so tight?/ Yami thought as he changed into the navy blue ballet attire he obtained from the storage room.  
  
//Yami, they're leotards. And they're suppose to be tight for flexibility//  
  
/But still…/  
  
Yami finished changing and strolled down the hallway to the dance room. It had a fairly large amount of space, with hardwood floors, mirrored-walls, and several beams for stretching. Yami took one look at himself in the mirror and gasped. /Oh dear lord, I look like a…a…/  
  
//Girl?//  
  
/Be quite!!!/  
  
"Oh look, Seto!" a voice interrupted. "Yami's here, too!"  
  
Yami spun around to see Seto and Mokuba at the front entrance, with Mokuba in a baby blue outfit with rubber duckies^-^ (credit on the duckies go to YYC).  
  
"HAHAHAHA!" Seto broke out in an insane spasm of laughter and doubled over, holding his stomach. "Yami…are you trying to learn ballet?!"  
  
Yami just sat there, red faced and fuming. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!"  
  
"Yeah, big brother! Puh-leez?" Mokuba put on one of his adorable faces and stared at Seto with puppy-eyes.  
  
"OK! Just being so CUTE!"  
  
Minutes later, Seto reentered the room in black leotards and a grim face.  
  
"MWAHAHAHA!" Yami fell backwards anime-style as a tear slid down the corner of his eye. "Who gets the last laugh now?"  
  
"Why you---"  
  
Before Seto managed to strangle Yami, their dance instructor appeared in a white leotard.  
  
"OK, class," the white-haired, soft-voiced teacher began, "today we're going to start off with postures and twirls."  
  
"Um…Yami, either I'm hallucinating, or is that Bakura?"  
  
"I think it is Bakura, Seto."  
  
Bakura turned at the sound of his name. "Huh? Oh, hi guys! So are you here to learn ballet?"  
  
Both Yami and Seto sweat dropped, then face faulted.  
  
  
  
Kero from Card Captor Sakura: Will Yami and Seto survive their first dance lesson? Will their new-found skills affect the rest of this fic? Why is Bakura their teacher?  
  
YK: Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but the rubber duckies came form YYC (Yami Yugi Chan). Read her's, FC's (Fiery Charizard (sorry if I spelled that wrong), and SM's (Scarlet Moon) hilarious fics too.  
  
Kero: Did the Dragonball Z narrator ever come back?  
  
YK: Um…nope! ^_^  
  
Yami: Why do I have to wear a leotard?  
  
YK: Be thankful that I didn't make you wear a tutu!  
  
Yami: … 


	2. Postures and Twirls

AN: Ok, ok, I know, the disclaimer: I DON'T OWN YU-GI-OH! Happy? Also, someone mentioned that guys don't wear leotards; they wear a t-shirt over tights. Thank you for mentioning that! Now, on with the ficcy!  
  
1 Ballet Bedlam  
  
1.1 Ch.2 Postures and Twirls  
  
"Bakura! What are you doing here?" Yami blurted out unwisely, then tried to regain his posture as the serious game king.  
  
"Well, dancing is a way for me to express myself," was the response.  
  
"So…you're going to be our dance instructor?!" Seto still had a hard time believing his fate.  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Yaaaa!!! Let's start dancing!" Mokuba didn't seem to care whom the teacher is as long as he got to learn the wonderful art of ballet.  
  
"OK!" Bakura clapped his hands together like a giddy dance trainer ready to teach his students---wait, that's what he's doing, right? Anyway… "For starters, we'll start off with posture."  
  
"You mean like this?" Seto got into Goku's fighting stance from Dragonball Z.  
  
"Ummm…no." Bakura was seriously starting to doubt if his two students had what it took to master, or at least start, ballet.  
  
"Of course not, dumbo!" Yami scoffed at Seto. "Watch moi."  
  
"I'd like to watch you alright," Seto muttered under his breathe. "Like you could do any better."  
  
"I heard that!" The king of games posed like Card Captor Sakura when she's about to reveal her scepter.  
  
"Ha! That's not even half as good as mine!"  
  
"Shut u---"  
  
"Now, let's not be brutal," Bakura tried to consul the two nemesis, for the sake of his dance studio. "We'll just…um…skip the posture and go onto the twirls."  
  
"But look at me!" Mokuba called from the other end of the room. Everyone watched as he did a perfect pose (we a see a stoplight shine in the background with cheers and applauds).  
  
"Hmph!" was sounded from both teens, who were jealous and affronted.  
  
"Very good, Mokuba!" Bakura praised, glad that someone finally got it right. "Now, for twirls."  
  
After Bakura showed the correct and incorrect forms and ways to appear graceful, Seto and Yami decided to practice.  
  
Seto did a…well…half turn, so to speak, but somehow managed to trip over his own two feet and smacked his face right into the floor. "Ouch…"  
  
"HAHAHAHA!" Yami fell over laughing and pointed hysterically at Seto, who was still on the floor trying to disentangle his legs.  
  
"Can you do better?" the corporation owner retorted.  
  
"Watch n' learn." With that, Yami started twirling at 70 miles/hr, and spun into a metal beam. Naturally, he retreated to the ground with a halo of starts and birds. "Owww…pretty birdies…make the pain stop…"  
  
"HAHAHA!" Seto nearly crackled in two from the intensity of insane laughing. "Watch n' learn? I think I already know how to run into a beam! HAHAHA!"  
  
Bakura tried to stifle his laughter, but failed and emitted trails of giggles while saying, "Y-yami, giggle a-are you alright?"  
  
"Of course I'm fine!" The previous pharaoh glared and dusted himself, even though no dust was present. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Well," Seto started, "considering the fact that you have the world's largest bump on your forehead, I'd say---"  
  
"Shut up!" Yami silenced Seto with a heavy-duty mallet that magically appeared in his hand. Now Seto also wore an egg-like mount of his head. "Now, Seto, who were you saying that have the world's largest bump?"  
  
"Why you little---"  
  
"Hey! Look at me!" All eyes turned to Mokuba, who was spinning gracefully around the perimeter of the room. "This is SO easy!"  
  
"Show off!" Yami grumbled.  
  
"Mokuba's sooo gonna get grounded," Seto muttered as he glared enviously at his younger brother.  
  
"Good job!" Bakura congratulated Mokuba, who was the only person who actually achieved ballet. "Today's lesson is over. I hope to see you all here tomorrow. 'Bye!"  
  
***  
  
"So Yami, how was ballet?" Yugi asked once Yami entered the Turtle Game Shop.  
  
"Y.BakuraworkedthereforhisartimejobBakurawastheteacherandSetoandMokubaaretak ingballetaswell," Yami replied in one breath.  
  
"Um…ok. I take it the lessons weren't so bad even though I didn't understand half of what you said."  
  
"The lessons are horrible, but at least Seto suffers as well."  
  
"Oh."  
  
***  
  
At Kaiba's…  
  
"Mokuba, you're grounded 'till you're 50 for being a better dancer than I am and for corrupting my reputation." Seto was dead set on punishing the younger Kaiba one way or another.  
  
"But why, dearest brother?" Mokuba's voice was dripping with honey as he sent puppy looks at Seto.  
  
"Aaahhhh! Stop the evil cutesy looks!" Seto screamed as he dove under the couch. "Ok, ok, you're relieved of your punishment! Just stop being so CUTE!"  
  
"Ok^_^"  
  
Kero: And so, the day ends for our victims. But what will tomorrow bring? I think I hear the sweet sound of competition…  
  
YK: Kero! Don't give away the spoilers! (to reader) Spoilers are $5 each.  
  
Kero: Oops, sorry.  
  
YK: That's ok. Care to join me for tea?  
  
Kero: You have cake and those little biscuits?  
  
YK: Yep! Can't have tea without 'em.  
  
Kero: Wahoo! I'm there!  
  
YK: ^_^ 


	3. Substitute Teacher?!

A/N: So…tired…must keep…typing. I just finished with my other fic, Spellbound AND my Yu-gi-oh site, so I'm not exactly in the mood for writing. But I an obliged to announce: No, I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH, BUT Hirakoe IS MINE! Mwahahahahaha! (goes into coma from laughing even though it's an impossible task) Also, I'm EXTREMELY lazy today, so I'm going with strict dialogues this time.  
  
1 Ballet Bedlam  
  
Substitute Teacher?!  
  
Later in the day…  
  
Seto (frustrated): Where's the teacher?  
  
Yami: Bakura's never late!  
  
Seto: Maybe he got hit by a car  
  
Yami (snorting): Like that'll ever happen!  
  
Y.Bakura (runs into practice hall panting): I-I'll…be your…teacher…today. Just…let me…catch my breath…  
  
Seto and Yami: You're going to be our teacher?!  
  
Seto: Where's Bakura?  
  
Y.Bakura: He had an accident---got hit by a car  
  
Yami: o0~  
  
Y.Bakura (flipping frantically through a notebook): Let's see, oh yeah. We'll suppose to be doing something called the …uh…Pickle-ette  
  
Seto (grabbing notebook): Let me see that! It's the Picaette, you big dummy!  
  
Y.Bakura: Watch it, kid!  
  
Seto: Who are you calling 'kid', kid?  
  
Y.Bakura: Well, I AM a couple thousand years older than you!  
  
Seto: Why you---(chases Y.Bakura around with a 50-pound mallet with a duckie handle (Mokuba:^_^))  
  
Yami: Hold it! As pharaoh I command you to stop this nonsense!  
  
Y.Bakura: You're not a pharaoh anymore!  
  
Yami: Yes I am!  
  
A dust storm rises as everyone except Mokuba went for each other's necks.  
  
Mokuba (with Super Duckie-Splash 3000): Stop fighting! I wanna learn ballet!!! (Blasts everyone with cold water and orange juice)  
  
Everyone: Aahhh!  
  
Yami: You got my outfit wet!  
  
Y.Bakura: My hair's orange!  
  
Seto: Mokuba! You are SOOO grounded!  
  
Y.Bakura: Look, we only have 20 minutes left. I have to squeezed all this **** in before closing time  
  
Yami: So, what's a Picaette?  
  
Y.Bakura: I donno  
  
(Everyone face faults)  
  
Yami: What kind of teacher are you?!  
  
Seto: Gimme that! Here it is! Picaette: Research it yourselves!  
  
(face fault again)  
  
Mokuba: Big brother, I think it's a series of footwork developed by Leorade L. Limeston during the 1800's. The Picaette consist of 5 leaps, 3 twirls, 8 spins, and 2 tiptoes.  
  
Everyone (amazed): How do you know that, Mokuba?  
  
Mokuba: Research  
  
Seto: Nooo…! My only sibling has become a nerd! Oh, what. That's a good thing! MWAHAHAHA!  
  
Mokuba: You wanna play Duckie-chase with me?  
  
Seto:…on second thought, I take that back  
  
So Mokuba showed everyone the Picaette and after 50 tries, they finally managed to get the first 3 steps right.  
  
Y.Bakura(standing on his toes with one leg up): Look at me!  
  
Seto: So what? Watch me!  
  
(Seto tried stand on one foot, slipped on a bar of soap (Mokuba!) and fell onto Yami  
  
Yami: Aaahhh! Get of me, you pervert!  
  
Seto (runs to the far side of the room): Still 5 feet away from me!  
  
Y.Bakura: Awww…Yami and Seto, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N---(gets punched in the face by Yami and Seto)  
  
Seto: You'd better like black and blue, 'cause that's all you'll be seeing for awhile  
  
Y.Bakura: …(groans) I do like black, but no like this…!  
  
Mokuba: Hey! We're performing next week!  
  
Yami: What do you mean, Mokuba?  
  
Mokuba: Well, in Bakura's notebook, we're scheduled to dance in a Ballet Performance. Everyone's coming!  
  
Seto: E-everyone?  
  
Yami (gulps): A-aibou is surely coming…  
  
Y.Bakura: MWAHAHAH! You losers have to dance! MWAHAHAH!  
  
Mokuba: Wait! It says here: Notice: Y.Bakura is also performing even though he's substituting. If he doesn't then I will take shatter the Millennium Ring. Signed: Bakura  
  
Y.Bakura: Nooooo! I thought I was the evil one!  
  
Yami and Seto: HAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Mokuba: It also says: Everyone is required to wear a too-too. Expected color is pink with frills and laces  
  
Everyone: Noooo…!!!  
  
Later…  
  
Yugi: So how's ballet today, Yami? Is there going to be a performance?  
  
Yami: Er…uh, no! No performance! Nope! Especially not next week! (laughs nervously)  
  
Yugi: There's a performance next week? Wahoo! I'm gonna call the gang! And Yami, you're a really bad liar.  
  
Yami: How did he know? I told him it wasn't going to be next week…  
  
  
  
YK: So will Yami, Seto, and Y.Bakura survive this dance performance? And just to let you know, there isn't really a step called the Picaette or a guy named Leorade L. Limston. I just made it up because unfortunately, I know nothing about ballet. Tell me if you do!  
  
Kero: Mwahaha! Those three in a too-too? Mwahahahahah!  
  
YK (joins in): Mwahahahahahah! 


	4. The Performance

A/N: I DON'T OWN YUGIOH! Sorry to all Bakura fans. You'll know why I'm apologizing soon enough.  
  
1 Ballet Bedlam  
  
Ch.4 The Performance  
  
"Ok, class" Bakura said in his usual quiet behavior. "Are we ready to rehearse?"  
  
A monotone rely, certainly lacking excitement, arouse from the bored group. Only Mokuba was the one who actually seemed alive, for Y.Bakura drowsed off in the middle of the lesson, Yami earned himself a headache from spinning way too much, and Seto was still in search of a tutu since there didn't seem to be one that fit him.  
  
"Y.Bakura will come in first from the left wing, whilst Yami from the right. Both of you will start with twirls. Seto will then leaped onto stage with Mokuba," Bakura instructed his students, even though 3 out of 4 of them weren't even paying attention. "Let's practice!"  
  
When no one made any movements whatsoever, the serene, affable Bakura (or so we thought) produced an enormously large microphone that magically appeared in his hand, along with a stuffed Barney.  
  
"I didn't think I'd need these, but guess so." Bakura towered over the 3 half awake teens as words blared out from the mike. "GET YOUR *** OFF THE FLOOR OR ELSE I'LL AFFLICT YOU ALL WITH BARNEY POWER!!!"  
  
"Aaaahhhh…!!! It's Barney!" Yami, Y.Bakura and Seto ran to anywhere that was anywhere and began to wear garlic, crosses, and practically anything else that they think will save them from the evil, pink dinosaur.  
  
(Seto: Wait…Barney's not a vampire…  
  
Yami: So? The authoress couldn't think of anything else. And please don't say that horrible name; it gives me goose bumps)  
  
Seto: Ok, ok! We surrender! Just get that monster away from us!  
  
Yami: Hey! Don't call Barney a monster! You'll be insulting the cards! Barney's a---  
  
Seto(clamps his hand over Yami's mouth): Whoa! Turn it down! This is a G fic!  
  
Yami(jabs Seto in the ribs): Humph!  
  
Y.Bakura: Aaawww…how cute. Yami and Seto are fighting! (gets malleted in the head by Yami)  
  
  
  
So after a practice that was even harder than trying to tame a wild beast, the ballet performance was scheduled to begin in 10 minutes.  
  
Yugi: I can't what to see Yami and the others perform! I heard that they're suppose to wear pink tutus with frilly laces!  
  
Joey(holding up a camera): Which is why I brought THIS. Now Yami will never forget his first ballet show!  
  
Tea: Why do I get the feeling that you're going to tease Yami like there's no tomorrow?  
  
Tristan: Well, this is Joey  
  
Joey: What's that suppose to mean?!  
  
Back at the dance studio…  
  
Yami(in frilly, pink tutu): I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life. In other words, a couple thousand more years!  
  
Seto(in a fluffy, pink skirt with matching tank-tops): My company's stock is sure to go down. My reputation is ruined!  
  
Y.Bakura: I'm gonna ground Aibou when we get home!  
  
Mokuba(with 3 bottles): Here, drink this. It helps you relax.  
  
As Yami, Seto, and Y. Bakura drained the bottles in one gulp, Mokuba secretly smirked and stuffed the label that says "Vodka".  
  
Yami(drunk): I *hiccup* feel great…  
  
Seto: This is goooing to be sooo much funnn(walks into a wall)  
  
Y.Bakura(runs off in an unbalanced manner): Aibou! Come gave your Yami a big kissy-whissy!  
  
Bakura: Aaahh! Get off me! Help…!  
  
Some how, Bakura managed to get a drunken pharaoh, priest, and tomb-robber to follow his orders and dance (Bakura: I threatened them with Barney- power^^)  
  
Yugi: It's about to start!  
  
Bakura: Welcome to the 1st anniversary of Bakura's Wacky World of Dancing! Today we have a special presentation led by the ballet team, starring Yami, Seto, Y.Bakura, and Mokuba!  
  
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea and a bunch of Yahooligans: Yay!  
  
The curtains automatically opened as Yami and Y.Bakura stepped out spinning like they're drunk, mainly because they are.  
  
Yugi: Are Yami and Y.Bakura drunk?  
  
Then Seto leaped about 10 feet into the air and landed on his face. Mokuba, of course, did a perfect twirl (Mokuba:^_^)(YK: Awww…)  
  
Joey(snapping at 50pics/sec): This just gets better and better!  
  
Meanwhile on stage, Yami, Y.Bakura and Seto held hands and skipped in circles (if you call them circles) singing 'Joy to the World' in front of 50,000 people. Suddenly, Yami slipped on a bar of soap that someone placed (Mokuba!) and the three teens fell in a heap. During the commotion, Seto accidentally fell backwards and knocked over the cardboard background whilst Y.Bakura pulled down the curtains and set it on fire with a cigarette lighter he found in his tutu (Y.Bakura:?)  
  
Yugi: Oh dear…they're going to wreck the stage! Wait. They already did.  
  
Joey: More, more! Wreck the stage! Wreck the stage!  
  
Yugi: (sweat drops)  
  
In the end, the stage was in flames. Yami and his two 'companions' emerged from the ashy curtain with silly grins pastured on their face. Bakura fainted from too much excitement and anxiety. Mokuba discreetly escaped to the safety of the outside world. Most of the Yahooligans got out unharmed, as did Yugi and gang.  
  
The next day…  
  
Yugi: Y'know Yami, you really hit it off at the ballet recital  
  
Yami: Be quiet! It wasn't my fault that I had Vodka before a performance!  
  
Yugi: Joey took around a million pictures of you. He's going to send us copies so you'll never forget your first performance!  
  
Yami(retreats to his soul room): Oh brother…I'll never hear the end of it now…  
  
At the Kaiba Resident  
  
Seto(reading his morning paper): Nooo! My picture's on the front page! Me! In a tutu!  
  
Mokuba: Hahahahaa…  
  
At Bakura's  
  
Bakura: You're grounded for causing havoc at my studio!  
  
Y.Bakura(scoffs): You can't ground me!  
  
Bakura: Oh, yeah? Barney-power!  
  
Y.Bakura: Aaaahhhh!!!  
  
***  
  
YK: Sorry to all Bakura fans! Bakura doesn't really like Barney! In fact, he hates him!  
  
Bakura: Then why did you make me have Barney-power?  
  
YK: You agreed to the contract. I pay you a million dollars, and you hold the terrifying Barney-power.  
  
Bakura:…Wait, that means I'm rich! I'm gonna buy this fic and change it!  
  
YK: Sorry, no can do. I'm the authoress and that's that. Hey, where's Kero?  
  
Bakura: You mean the stuffed animal who claims that he's not even though he is? I gagged him and threw him in the trash compartment.  
  
YK: o_0 


End file.
